Trainers Network Mtg, 3.12.2013

Trainers Network Skillshare: Conflict Resolution

Agenda
    I. Introductions, agenda, ground rules
    II. Define conflict
    III. Conflict as an organizing strategy
    IV. Causes of conflict
    V. Small groups
    VI. Report-backs
    VII. Questions
    VIII. Reflection: personal role, response in conflict situations

Guidelines

      • Be respectful
      • Listen to others and avoid interrupting
      • Value differences
      • Use inclusive language
      • Confidentiality – use discretion and respect if people share things that are obviously not meant to go any further than the skillshare

Things people are interested in getting out of this skillshare:

      • Joking/affirmative listening
      • Working with people who you think are not with it but you have to find common ground with
      • Cultural communication issues

What is conflict (brainstorm):

      • Disagreement
      • Disrespect
      • Lack of communication
      • Frustration
      • Passive aggression
      • Fighting
      • It was escalated from a calmer situation
      • Misunderstanding
      • Uncooperative
      • Different/clashing ideologies
      • Prejudice
      • Anger
      • Scarce resources
      • Irrationality
      • Fear
      • Misinformation
      • Not listening
      • Confusion
      • Pressure/competitive

What is conflict? 

Two or more people who interact and perceive incompatible differences between, or threats to, their resources, needs, or values. This causes them to behave in response to the inactions and their perception of it.
Basic Step-By-Step Process For Conflict Resolution:

        • de-escalation
        • affirmations
        • active listening
        • (discover) roots of conflict
        • needs assessment
        • communication
        • brainstorm alternatives
        • cooperation
        • choose a solution and agree on a plan
        • consensus
        • building/ decision making
        • problem solving
        • evaluate 

As activists/and world changers—it makes sense that we need to bring the conflict to make a difference

Conflict

      • it’s where good ideas come from
      • it’s how we work things out to come together

we raise the tension against our targets to get our way

      • it creates a story for the media/press

working through conflict can make better coalitions, better ideas, better outcome

Origin of Conflict

      • values and priorities
      • different communication styles
      • no easy answers
      • assumptions based on perception
      • putting the group at risk
      • experience
      • not following agreed principles
      • differences in methods of organizing (tactics)
      • something happens/ new variables 
      • desire to change from agreed path
        • next steps
      • breach of contract
      • struggle for power
        • excluding people 
        • money
      • lack of responsibility 
      • Oppression (sexism; etc.)
      • Decision time!

Afterwards- self-care for facilitators

      • being aware- do I have a stake in this (should we get an outside facilitator who’s not as invested?)
      • warm and fuzzy exercise helps folks feel better about the group/the project/say something nice about the project so that people don’t leave the meeting with a negative energy
      • using other people at the meeting for communication
      • make sure you’ve identified the recause of the conflict
      • transparency as a facilitator (checking in, should we address it? should we not? checking in with other folks…stepping down as a facilitator if you have too many feelings) 

What did our conflict look like?

 

      • got louder
      • dany got louder first, and falcon matched the loudness
      • response was to mediate
      • “what do I do” 
      • tempted to tell them to grow up cause it’s happened many times before
      • roll up and hide until people stop yelling

Small group notes:

  • What Are Facilitator Resources?

BEFORE

      • expression of ideas
      • neutral facilitator 
      • agenda
      • training
      • two facilitators (from both sides of argument) 
      • networking with experienced groups
      • collaboration with other clubs

DURING

      • stick to process/ agenda; take responsibility
      • write down thoughts
      • elicit open-ended questions (objective)
      • “cool the jets”
      • build on common interest
      • take notes and distribute
      • and (does not equal) or
      • collaboration with other clubs

AFTER

      • check-ins
      • conflict resolution product
      • facilitation trainings
      • conflict resolution training
      • common goal
      • follow through
      • collaboration with other clubs

 

  • What Are Facilitator Roles?

BEFORE

      • goals, principles
      • ground rules
      • process
      • agenda
      • time keeper and other roles
      • co-facilitator

DURING

      • reminding of guidelines
      • stack talking
      • make “I” statements
      • make individuals work through it
      • other people at meeting
      • facilitator “hat”

AFTER

      • accountability 
      • next steps
      • wrap-up exercises
      • co-facilitator debrief
      • self-care
      • feedback
  • What Are Facilitator Responsibilities?

BEFORE

      • check in w/folks
      • raise awareness
      • conflict/trigger warning
      • having enough people and prepping them
      • declare biases of facilitator
      • decide if you can be dispassionate

DURING

      • let people talk, not solve right away
      • atmosphere
      • people are comfortable to talk
      • flexibility
      • keep goals and time in mind
      • keep expectations
      • transparency
      • solicit solutions
      • find root cause

AFTER

      • check-in again
      • make sure next steps are assigned
      • take and distribute notes
      • re-state process and goals
      • peer support - neutral party
      • work with individuals outside the meeting